Spring and Friendships

I was thinking this morning about friendships and how/why they are formed.  I do not have many close friends.  It was by choice when I was younger, but it has just seemed to evolve into that as I've gotten older.  My best friend lives on the other side of the country.  I have a few people I consider good friends here, but schedules seem to prevent us from connecting as much as I would like.

So I was thinking about what brings people together as friends.  Male friendships are different than female friendships.  Don't ask me why.  They just are for far too many reasons to explain here.  Something I do notice some times is that often friends are also emotional crutches.  Have you ever noticed the slinder girl/woman that is always with a group of overweight girls/women?  When I see that, I tend to feel sorry for the slinder woman because I see a picture of someone that is insecure in her appearance and is looking to standout. 

I have a very ecclectic collection of friends (both close and not so close).  I enjoy having a potpourrie because they each bring something different to the table.  I abhor sameness in people or things.  Maybe that is why I enjoy working as a traveling nurse so much.  I like and embrace the changes.

Anyway, back to friendships....  I have tried to befriend people that have been resistant to that friendship.  I often wonder why.  Some times as I read people's postings on Facebook, I seem to see a common thread.  People who are very into their religion tend to gravitate toward people of the same ilk.  I wonder if they have any non-religious close friends that might bring some new thoughts or ideas to their lives or maybe give them food for thought.  Most people do tend to gravitate toward sameness.  Maybe they do not want to be close with someone who will challenge their way of thinking.  I guess my thinking is if you are true to your beliefs and are comfortable with them, then why be afraid of someone who might challenge those beliefs?  You might teach each other something.

As people get married and have children, they tend to shed their single friends over time and lean towards other married couples with children.  Even in this multicultural world I still see people that will only have close friends of their same race or nationality.  What a loss for them!  They never think about what they could be missing in their lives by opening up to new people, races, cultures, and thought patterns.

Maybe people chose friends they feel will not judge them...won't care if they are overweight, not real smart, maybe too smart, too tall, too short, not attractive, too attractive, have some kind of health issue or handicap, or maybe a different race or culture.

 I am very much into my health and healthy eating.  I often wonder if some people are uncomfortable about being around me because they know they are unhealthy.  I wasn't always this way (healthy).  Yes, I played a lot of sports and was always thin, but that did not necessarily equate to being healthy.  I had to suffer through my own health issues before I reached where I am today.  When I see other people that I know would benefit from what I've learned, I often try to reach out so I can share knowledge and, hopefully, help them to make their health better.   Friendships are supposed to be about sharing and helping each other be better people.  Friendships should never be about becoming a crutch to support each other's insecurities.

I want to clarify "crutch" here.  When you ask your friend if a dress or pants make you look big and they say, "No, girl, you look great!" when they are actually thinking, "Damn, what are you thinking?!"   I'm talking about that girlfriend that comes to console you about whatever you need consoling about and brings you pastries or donuts or ice cream knowing how you feel about your weight.  How about when you are in a dangerous relationship and your friend doesn't tell you the things you need to hear about getting out of the relationship because they are afraid of losing your friendship.  How about the friend that knows you have a substance abuse problem, but still goes out drinking with you instead of steering you to other activities or telling you that you have a problem and offering help and support.  

I've had friends in the past that were quick to tell me how bad they thought my significant other was and how they would see him out with other people....only they told me this after I was already out of the relationship.  They never stepped up to tell me when I was still in the relationship.  Needless to say, they are no longer my friends.  True friends will tell you what you need to hear even when you don't want to hear it.  They help you get back on your feet when you fall yet encourage you to stand on your own. 

Examine your friendships.  Are you surrounded by people who bring positive things to your life?  Do you have people that just hang-on because they think they can get something from you?  Do you have people in your life that will help you back on your feet, but also give you a kick in the ass when you need it?  Do you have friends who suck all the air out of the room with all their drama?

Spring is here and, as always, it's time for some Spring cleaning.  Maybe your friendships could use some Spring cleaning as well.  Weed out those people that bring you down, suck all the life out of you, or only bring negativity to your life.  Feed and nuture those friends that encourage you to grow and continue to be a better person.

Things and Pizza

I promised to post the recipe for my homemade pizza, but I felt compelled to also write about the events of Friday in Japan. I don't know if it is the nurse in me, but as I sat and watched the videos of the tsunami with my daughter, I couldn't help but be perplexed by how the events were being reports.  The news people went on and on about seeing trains, cars, homes, and boats being swept away, but what I saw...at least in my minds eye,..were people being swept away.  Did they think it too unpleasant to mention?  I know they couldn't have been in that much denial.

This kind of devastation goes way beyond the dollars and cents that are reported on the news and discussed by politicians.  As the tsunami cut its path through cities, towns, and villages, there were people in daycare centers, nursing homes, jails/prisons, hospitals, subway trains, etc that had no chance to get to higher ground.  The human cost is/will be higher than anything being reported.  I'm not just talking about the obvious loss of life that resulted from the earthquake and ensuing tsunami.  I'm talking of the people dying in office buildings, factories, homes, and hospitals while waiting to be found.  These people may be injured and die from their wounds or they may just die from lack of food and water.  Some may die due to exposure to the cold.  People only had minutes to respond to the tsunami warnings.  Just how many people do you think were able to escape?  I'm thinking not many. 

It has really bothered me to watch the news reports and hear the projected death tolls so grossly underestimated.  I suppose the only good thing in all of this is the fact that it is not summer over there so they do not have to worry about the spread bug-borne diseases.  Not only will people die of exposure to the cold and the lack of food and water.  They will die from infections that will develop from their injuries or from the toxins being released into the air from burning buildings, the burning refineries, and, of course, exposure to radiation.

From a mental health standpoint the negative effects will be great.  It will be difficult, if not impossible, for some people to recover from the enormous losses of family, friends, and possessions.  Many will never be able to bury their dead because they will never be found. 

How do you rebuild an infrastructure when an entire city is swept away?  How do you recover from having you child ripped from your arms by the raging waters?

My other burning question is what have the billions of dollars that have been spent on early warming systems been good for?  We have seismologists that do nothing but watch for these kinds of things.  Was there no warning the earthquake was coming?  Did it not occur to anyone when the floor of the volcano in Hawaii collapsed last week spewing lava 65ft into the air that something might be amiss?  How about all the smaller earthquakes that were recorded prior to the big one that hit Japan?  Why is all this money being spent if it isn't saving lives?

My last words on this topic are for those of you out there who are moaning and complaining about events and people in your lives and how terrible things are.  Get a grip!!  Whatever you have going on in your life right now is nothing compared to what some people are enduring right now.  You have food to eat, water to drink, and a roof over your head.

Chicken Spinach Pizza 

I make the dough in my bread machine.  If you do not have access to a bread machine, then you can substitute commercial dough.  You may use either a 12" or 16" pizza pan.

1 cup beer
1 T butter or olive oil
1 t salt (I use sea salt)
2 T sugar, stevia, or honey
2 3/4 C bread flour
1 T yeast

The ingredients go into the bread machine in the order listed.  Prepare the dough and preheat the oven to broil first.

This link will take you to a video on how to roast the red pepper.  http://video.about.com/italianfood/Roasted-Red-Pepper.htm   Prepare this ahead and then reduce the temp in the oven to 400 degrees.

Season to taste 4-5 boneless/skinless chicken tenders and cook in the oven for about 20 min.  When chicken is done, cut into small cubes.

When dough is ready, place it in the pan.  Let it rise if the instructions require it.  Once dough has risen, brush the dough with olive oil mixed with either crushed or chopped garlic.  Sprinkle with Italian seasoning, pepper, and grated Parmesan cheese.  Take your fresh spinach leaves (use your judgment on how much based on the size pan you are using).  Stack the spinach leaves together and slice into strips.  Sprinkled the spinach strips around the dough.  Slice the roasted red pepper and place around the pizza.  Place the chopped chicken.  I get the fresh mozzarella balls (the small ones).  Cut the small balls in fours and place around the pizza.  Again, use your judgment on how much based on your taste and size of pan.  Sprinkle entire pizza with more olive oil and Parmesan cheese.  Cook in oven at 400 degrees for 20-25 min.  Serve hot and enjoy!