Hair Loss and Being Sexy

Next month will mark the 4th year since I lost my hair.  Something I have come to notice since that big event is how women use their hair...yes, use their hair.  A lot of my sexuality and how I viewed myself as a sexual being was tied to my hair.  It was never anything I set out to do and never even realized how much my hair was tied to how I felt about myself until it was gone. 

I spent thousands of dollars on haircare products.  I plucked my eyebrows.  As women, we shave our legs and under arms.  We do it as part of our grooming and also to feel good about ourselves.  How many women ever think about how they would feel if one day all their hair was gone.  We raise our eyebrows as a way of expressing ourselves.  How do you make that same expression with no eyebrows?  We bat our eyelashes to get attention.  How do you get that same attention when the eyelashes are gone?

Whether your hair is straight, chemically processed, or worn "natural", whether it is short, long or somewhere in between, ask yourself how much your sexuality is tied to your hair.  There are overweight women I have known who spend more money on their hair and nails than they do on weight loss.  My mother included her beautician fees in her monthly budget.  Millions of dollars are spent on hair extensions, weaves, relaxers, perms, hair-coloring products, wigs, etc. all in an effort to feel and look beautiful.

As much as I miss having hair, I honestly think that losing it was one of the best things to happen to me.  This may sound strange to many, but it has forced me to examine who I am and how I view myself.  It has forced me to stop relying on external things to feel beautiful and rely heavily on my internal self to find my beauty and show my beauty to others.  Our mothers always told us that beauty comes from within.  We never realize just how wise our mothers were until we've done a ton of stupid things first. LOL  True beauty does come from within and it took losing what I perceived as my beauty to realize just how true that was.

So, I challenge all my female friends to think the next time they look in the mirror or sit in the beautician's chair and ask themselves what they feel their "beauty" really is.  If you woke up one day and your appearance was totally changed, how would you feel about yourself and how others perceived you? 

Today an old classmate asked me how I could possibly look more beautiful at 56 than I did in high school.  I had to think about that for a minute.  In high school, I had not yet found my inner beauty.  As a young adult I struggled to hold onto my inner beauty.  Now, at 56, I have a very firm grip on my inner...and outer beauty and feel much stronger and healthier because of it.

Find your inner beauty.